Depression and HASAY don’t mix

The other day I was gathering information about our move to Italy. The more I looked, the more depressed I got.

I know all the good things about this move: it’ll be a great experience for my kids. Professionally it’ll be a great move as I’m almost guaranteed to get promoted out of it. If we play our cards right, we should come home debt free and with some extra money in the bank.

But as I was sitting and looking at the pictures of the smiling kids at the elementary school, I couldn’t help but think “That’s not my kids’ school.”

As I drive around town here, I get teary thinking of all the things I’ll miss here. And one thing is clear to me, all the good things that will come out of this assignment don’t outweigh the one bad thing: I’ll have to leave what has come to be my home.

What’s funny, is if you’d told me I’d feel this way when we first moved here, I would have laughed at you. Now, 8 years later, I’ve finally found a place I could grow some roots. I’ve lived here longer than anywhere in my adult life. Heck, I’ve lived here longer than I’ve lived anywhere IN MY ENTIRE LIFE!

I’m sure I’ll whine about this a few more times before we actually leave. And I’m sure once we actually make the move, I’ll be wondering what I was freaking out about. But for now, I’m wallowing in my sorrows over it. And trying hard to get my heart and mind in the right place before we leave.

Oh and I am totally counting this as my HASAY post today. I spent most of my week walking around in a haze of depression. First because we weren’t sure Tony would be joining me in Italy. And then because he WOULD be. And when I get depressed, I eat. And I did exactly that this week. I ate. And I ate. And then I ate some more.

I also made a decision. I’ve decided that the number on the scale is what bothers me. It’s the not being in shape that bothers me. So, my new plan is to commit myself to an exercise program while watching what I eat. We’ll see how that works for me!

HASAY: What the?!?!?

Sometimes you do everything right. And despite all your best efforts, the scale doesn’t budge.

Sometimes you can’t help but be frustrated.

I had a great week. Counted every last morsel of food that went into my mouth. Passed by the candy and other sweets. Even watched what I ate when at the luncheon for a co-worker who moved.

On Saturday, I realized the payoff: I was down 3 pounds!! And more importantly, just 2.6 pounds away from the goal I’d set for myself before heading out to Texas.

Today (official weigh in day), the news is not so good. While I’ll readily admit I didn’t count or track anything this weekend, I can also say I didn’t eat THAT badly.

I’m sure it’s just water weight and will be gone by Tuesday or Wednesday.

At least I hope.

HASAY and Girl Scout Cookies Just Don’t Mix

I was all prepared to type a good update today for HASAY (what’s HASAY you say? Click on the button over there —> and find out!). I stepped on the scale this morning and amazingly was down a pound! Not quite sure how I did that after the last couple of weeks, but I’ll take it!

And then came the Girl Scout Cookies. For those that don’t know, Alyssa is a Brownie Girl Scout. Today, our cookie order came in. I divided out all the cookies that had been ordered and repacked them for delivery tomorrow. Of course, I had to order extras (some for us and some to sell to those who didn’t order). I have almost an entire case of my nemesis staring at me as I type: the Thin Mint cookie.

I thought I’d be able to resist them. Alyssa opened a box and ate a whole sleeve by herself (ah, she’s learned well from the master!). She shared some of the remaining sleeve with her sisters and then brought the open package to me. So, what did I do? Well, I read Debbie’s and Mrs. Bear’s HASAY updates while finishing said open package (you’d think reading about puke would have deterred my cookie-fest, sadly I didn’t even blink an eye!).

I’m thinking eating the cookies while reading about someone else losing weight cancels out all the calories in the cookies. That’s the story I’m going to tell anyway.

And starting tomorrow, I’m back on the Weight Watchers wagaon. I know, I know, I said I’d do it last week. Well, I lied. OK, I didn’t really lie. I had the best of intentions, but well, you know all about the road to hell, right?

HASAY: Week 2

I feel I must start this week out with an apology.  So many of you stopped by over the week and offered support and well wishes and I was largely unable to do the same.  I promise I’ll do better this week!  And thanks to all of you who welcomed me with open arms!  We can and will do this!

It felt great starting back again.  And it feels great doing HASAY with you ladies.  One thing I like about starting a weight loss journey (no matter how large or small) is that you’re always so motivated the first week.  And that’s how I felt this week!  Also, knowing I was going to have to report back to you ladies (we are all ladies, right? Are any guys involved?), kept my will power strong!

OK, so how did I do on my goals last week?  Let’s see:

Goal 1: Journal every day (including days I don’t do so well) I managed to journal every day…yay me!  I even managed to pass up the sweets at the retirement ceremony I went to on Friday.  I did have a donut on Thursday, but I had the points for it, so all was good (I took a bite of a donut on Friday night, but spit it out…I hate cake donuts!).

Goal 2: Go to gym Mon, Wed, and Fri As I confessed last week, I get 90 minutes 3 days a week to go to the gym.  During duty hours.  Most days that means I have no excuse to skip the gym.  Unless work gets in the way.  Unfortunately, work got in the way on Monday and Friday.  Sure I still could have squeezed some gym time in, but who wants to do that?  I DID make it to the gym on Wednesday though.  I went to the Ab Lab class and it felt great (nevermind that it hurt to breathe on Thursday!).

Goal 3: Drink no more than 2 Diet Cokes per day (this plays into my resolutions too…how coincidental!)  Somewhere around Tuesday, this turned into “no more than 3 Diet Cokes per day.”  And somewhere around Wednesday, it turning into “drinking Diet Coke no more than 3 times a day.”  So, I could get Diet Coke at the restaurant and refill 15 times and it still only counted as one (like that math?).  The good news is, my Diet Coke intake decreases dramatically.  I really didn’t have 15 refills and most days I stuck pretty close to just 3 Diet Cokes.  I guess this week I need to define what equals 1 Diet Coke. 🙂

And now for the good part.  Drum roll, please.

Weight Change This Week:  -2.8

Goals for this week:

• Journal every day
• Get to the gym 3 times this week
• Drink no more than 32 oz of Diet Coke a day (let’s see if I can stick to this one!)
• Take a multivitamin every day (this one is going to be hard!)