Sandie Simply Says

March 22, 2009

Italy or bust!

Filed under: General — by Sandie @ 6:38 am

I’m actually hoping for bust at this point!

STILL no resolution on our assignment crap. Friday I called my assignments manager and I really get the feeling that he was pretty much done working it. He recommended we file a “formal application” for a join spouse assignment a week or so ago. I’ve been working on that ever since, but I really wonder what, if anything that’s going to do. The answer I’m given is “Well, they’ll have to answer the letter.” OK, haven’t they had to answer the questions/emails being sent too? They’ve pretty much said no every way they know how and claim to have looked at “everything.” So do we really think that when they receive the letter they’ll say, “Oh, now that we have a letter OF COURSE we’ll approve a join spouse now!”

I asked my assignment manager if he’d looked at all the people who were recently informed they were getting promoted to see if any of them were volunteers to go overseas. My understanding is that at least one person said they were interested in going to Europe when my Career Field Manager told them all to go update their dreamsheets. He said, “Well, I’ll have to ask for an exception to policy for that.” YOU’RE FUCKING KIDDING ME!?!?!?!?!?!?!? It’s perfectly OK to him to ask me to spend 2-3 years away from my family and/or husband, but he has to ask for an exception to policy to see if someone is a VOLUNTEER to take the fucking job??? My Chief is making a call to his Chief on Monday and I asked him if he would please bring this up as well.

Friday night the weight of it all came crashing down on me. I’d been holding up really well, but I think the combination of my conversation on Friday and realizing I was getting ready to get my visit from Aunt Flow was just too much. I had a bit of a breakdown after we went to bed. It started out as just tears, but then escalated to all out jagged crying. I don’t think my poor husband knew what to make of it. I’m just incredibly pissed off about the whole thing.

I’m mad that for 17 years I went where they told me to go without complaint. I’ve volunteered for some pretty crappy assignments that nobody else would ever THINK of volunteering for. I did two short tours before I had kids so I wouldn’t have to be faced with being separated from them.

I’m mad that several people in this chain of events have the authority to make this right and none of them are doing it. I’m mad that they can still look themselves in the mirror knowing that they’re willingly splitting up a family with very young children. I don’t care how much they say their hands are tied, I know they are not.

I’m mad that my assignment manager actually had the gall to say, “Understand that if I do this, you’ll still be the number one nonvolunteer for the next overseas assignment.” (He said that in response to my asking him to check for volunteers to take the assignment.) My response to him was basically: “Understand that the ONLY reason I’m asking you to do this is because my husband did not get a join spouse assignment. I wouldn’t have been happy to go because the timing is really bad, but I would have gone and you never would have heard my name. But I have a 2, a 4 and an 8 year old and taking them away from either their mother or their father for 2-3 years is NOT an option for me.”

So, now I’m just waiting to see what comes of the exception to policy. I’m also still moving forward with the formal application. My next step will be to write my congressman. I’ve seen people write their congressman for less and receive results, why shouldn’t I do the same? I don’t care if it makes my name mud with these people…I bet it’ll certainly make them think twice before they do something like this again!



  1. I’m so angry for you, I can’t believe your situation is being so casually overlooked. They’re splitting a family apart, how is that not a big deal? I think you should write as many people as you can and if you need additional letters on your behalf, I’d love to help. How scary. I hope you guys get some results soon.

    Comment by mrsbear0309 — March 22, 2009 @ 12:27 pm |Reply

  2. I don’t even know what to say. It seems like this would be illegal. What are you going to do if they don’t bend? Can either of you quit? Move to Canada?

    Comment by Ginger — March 22, 2009 @ 7:16 pm |Reply

  3. There is no way I can imagine going through that! What are you going to do if they don’t resolve this?

    Comment by pattysprattle — March 23, 2009 @ 1:31 am |Reply

  4. I can’t believe they haven’t figured this out for you yet. Why would they give you so much crap and try to split up your family? Argh! I’m angry too.

    Comment by Casey — March 23, 2009 @ 8:57 am |Reply

  5. I cannot even believe that they are still dillying around on this. SERIOUSLY. I cannot.


    On a side note, I really think we should get together soon.

    Comment by Tina — March 23, 2009 @ 10:11 pm |Reply

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