Sandie Simply Says

January 28, 2009

“I started today.”

Filed under: General — by Sandie @ 10:03 pm
Tags: , ,

I remember a time when those words brought nothing but sorrow and pain for me. It was when we were trying to get pregnant the second time. It took us almost 2 years. According to the doctor, we had “unexplained secondary infertility.” In other words, they had no freaking idea why it took us so long. In Nov 2003 had a laparoscopy where they killed some endometriosis and confirmed that my tubes were open. Apparently, that did the trick because less than 2 weeks later, I was pregnant with Angelina.

Over the last couple years, those words have brought a feeling of relief. We’d decided after Angelina that we were done with babies. Imagine our surprise a couple years later when I found out I was pregnant with Amber! After Amber, we again said we were done with babies. This time, Tony made the appointment for a vasectomy. We went for the initial consultation and even scheduled the appointment for the big day. As the day got closer, I started feeling more and more uneasy about it. Two days before his scheduled procedure I asked him to cancel it. And this is how I know he truly loves me: he did. Didn’t even argue with me about it, just did it. I knew then that I didn’t want more babies, but wasn’t sure I wouldn’t want another one in the future.

And now, here we are two years later. My monthly “friend” came today (4 days late, I might add) and I’m feeling a weird sense of relief and sadness all rolled into one. At the same time, Tony has started throwing out comments about another baby…maybe try one more time for a boy.

And I’m starting to think about it. Unbelievably, I’m starting to think about it.

I don’t think we’re ready yet. Not in light of the events of last week. But maybe in a few months.

That may give me time to come to my senses.

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4 Comments »

  1. I keep hoping for some easing up of the budget as I ache for another baby, but the economy is making us a one child family for at least a few months more. If money were no object, I wonder if I would be so diehard about wanting another baby. Sigh.

    Comment by Sprite's Keeper — January 28, 2009 @ 10:47 pm |Reply

  2. HOLY COW!

    I can honestly say I don’t want to have any more babies. But sometimes, I see little toddlers and think, I would love to adopt a baby.

    Then I realize that it would mean kids that can’t crawl into a car by themselves or use the toilet! I can wait until my kiddos are grown up and have their own (like in 15 years!)

    🙂

    Comment by Tina — January 29, 2009 @ 12:19 am |Reply

  3. I always worry that I’ll start to feel those pangs again too. But at four we’re already filled to capacity. And being pregnant is a beautiful fabulous miracle that I don’t ever want to do again. But I’m always happy when someone else wants to. Do it. Three is a magic number. 😉

    Comment by mrsbear — January 30, 2009 @ 1:23 pm |Reply

  4. I can totally see you with another baby. Tony needs a son, and a boy would complete your little clan! I say, GO FOR IT!!

    Comment by Ginger — February 11, 2009 @ 7:12 am |Reply


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