Sandie Simply Says

December 26, 2008

The Christmas Guest

Filed under: Step Life — by Sandie @ 11:07 pm
Tags: , ,

Picture it: It’s Christmas Day and the kids are excitedly getting ready to open their gifts. Then Ashley’s cell phone rings. It’s her mom. I hear Ashley tell her, “We’re opening Christmas presents.” For most people, well normal people, that would be a signal to say, “OK, call me back when you’re done.” But no, she keeps Ashley on the phone for at least another 5-10 minutes. And then utters the famous words we all know are coming: “When are you coming over?” This was followed by another phone call about an hour later: “What time are you going to be here?”

Some background information: Tony and I have been married almost 10 years. In that 10 years, we have spent THREE Christmases with the girls (including this year). All three of those were spent in Laredo. And now all three times, it’s been a shared holiday. They spend part of the day with us and part of the day with their mom and because my husband generally takes them over there and stays while they open gifts, HE spends part of his day over there, as well. The only other time we get to spend with the girls is 6-8 weeks in the summer and an occasional spring break (though that hasn’t happened since Alyssa was in kindergarten because the girls’ spring break is a different week then Alyssa’s). To break it down, on a good year, the girls spend 70 days with us and 295 days with their mother. And that’s only if they are with us 8 weeks in the summer, a week at Christmas, and a week for Spring break. On a normal year, they spend 49 days with us and 316 days with their mother (and don’t even get me started on how somehow the courts find this not only fair, but “in the best interest of the child”). She gets 87% of they year with them. Can’t she let us have one completely undisturbed holiday?

I’ll admit, sharing Christmas didn’t bother me much in the last two times this happened. This year, it really bothered me though. Maybe it’s because the girls are getting older. Ashley will be 16 this spring. Last summer, she wasn’t sure she wanted to come for 6 weeks this summer. She wants to go to summer school and then she has band camp (which starts 3 full weeks before school starts!). Our time with them is already precious enough. The last thing we needed was their mom to show up, uninvited.



  1. I SO know how you feel about this. We have Danielle for FOUR weeks every summer and ONE week at Christmas EVERY OTHER YEAR. Her birthday is in July, so we get her on her birthday, EVERY OTHER YEAR. Last summer, we had her for her birthday. We took her to Hard Rock Park, in Myrtle Beach, SC, for the day. Her cell phone was constantly glued to her ear the whole time, talking to Mommy and Mommy’s boyfriend, and all of Mommy’s friends who work at McDonald’s. It was like, we had her, but she wasn’t really “with” us, KWIM? Hate it, hate it, hate it.

    Comment by Ginger — December 27, 2008 @ 6:36 am |Reply

  2. That would have bothered me too. Sorry you had to share the girls on Xmas. I’m glad you got to spend some time with them though!

    Comment by Casey — December 27, 2008 @ 8:55 pm |Reply

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